SWEET FUCK IT'S AN APP
Sep. 17th, 2013 10:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
synonymouswithdookieOOC Information:
Name: Ryo
Are you over 15? yeah buddy
Contact: mummifiedsalarian @ plurk
IC Information:
Name: Preincarnation - ZIM / Reincarnation - Ray Zimmerman
Canon and medium: Invader Zim | CARTOON, YO
Age: Preincarnation - 159 (y'know in human years) / Reincarnation - 26
Preincarnation Species: Irken
Preincarnation Appearance:
It's a little pathetic. Especially his human disguise.
Any differences: Y'know just a few here and there.
Aside from the fact that he isn't a horrible green alien anymore, he now stands at a WHOPPING 5'2". Okay that's hardly WHOPPING but it's pretty significant compared to his previous form. He has a pale complexion and black hair that he likes to spike up like an asshole. In other words, he is a perfectly normal human worm-baby. He just gets mistaken for a 13 year old on a semi-regular basis because he's short has a total baby face.
Preincarnated History: -So I just HAPPEN to have a history section for a previous Zim app from another game so I'm just gonna c/p that sucker right here. Let me know if you want more/less/etc and I will gladly provide.-
A good portion of the history is taken from unfinished episodes. Nickelodeon apparently hates money and canceled the series before it was finished, and some of those episodes just so HAPPEN to have covered a lot of back story. I figure they count as canon since there were scripts released for them and all that good shit and they actually EXPLAIN stuff that previous episodes never covered so here we go.
It all started when Zim was hatched from his incubator as a smeet. The fuck is a smeet, you ask? Why, it's a baby irken! The fuck is an IRKEN? Well sit your selves down and prepare your eyes for some AMAZING KNOWLEDGE as I slap you with some HORRIBLE KEY TERMS that may or may not be grammatically pleasing to read.
IRKEN: These are horrible, buggy looking green aliens, the race Zim belongs to. Irkens hail from the planet Irk. They are best known for trying to conquer the entire universe with their AMAZING ARMADA and re-purposing planets to fit their own needs (such as fast food planets, parking structure planets, military training planets, etc). Irkens tend to be militaristic no matter what tasks they're assigned, be it fast food, janitorial service, invading planets for conquest, etc. Irkens don't fuck around.
Irken physiology is kind of stupid. In place of a BUNCH OF ORGANS, they have one SUPER ORGAN. This one organ is called a squeedlyspooch. It's neat. As statedabove BELOW in the ABILITIES section, Irkens have evolved to rely on their PAKs as a means of life support. It promotes rapid healing and makes irkens more durable in general, the obvious flaw being the fact that they'll DIE without the PAKs. Zim's own PAK is actually a piece of shit, as it contains "40 shmillion" coding mistakes, making Zim a "Defective", and is basically the reason for his insane behavior and ridiculous thought processes.
It's stated that irkens don't require sleep, likely due to the PAK, but they are capable of it I guess if they FEEL LIKE SLEEPING. Also most Earth food appears to make them violently ill (with the rare exception such as WAFFLES). No ACTUAL science went into creating their race so I dunno. ALSO Zim is allergic to water, but according to the creator it's not JUST the water that burns the fuck out of him, but all the horrible Earth pollutants in it.
While they do have males and females, Irkens don't reproduce through conventional means. For whatever reason they've taken to growing their young (known as smeets) in idk SMEET FACTORIES? Upon "birth", a smeet has a PAK drilled into it's spine, which more or less activates the smeet. It is then plugged in to a computer which fills the smeet with ALL IRKEN KNOWLEDGE, and the smeet is given a name. It then reports for duty pretty much immediately.
The Irken hierarchy system is based on height, with their leaders being the tallest current living Irkens, and are thus called the Almighty Tallest. There are currently two of those guys running shit. The Tallest report only to the Control Brains, which are brains. That control everything. The Tallest (cleverly named Red and Purple because hey lets name them after THEIR EYE COLORS) are responsible for orchestrating invasions and overseeing the armada in general. They also absolutely despise Zim, and sent him to Earth to get him out of the way. In fact pretty much the entire race hates Zim. Everything hates Zim. I hate Zim.
DEFECTIVE: Zim. More specifically, an Irken Defective is someone who has been fitted with a faulty PAK when they're "born". In Zim's case, it makes him a blithering idiot who still manages to be the most dangerous Irken in the entire Armada. But pretty much ONLY to other Irkens. Hence the banishment to Earth thing. A Defective can't be controlled or brainwashed by the Control Brains and are usually destroyed when discovered. Their PAK data is deleted so it can't contaminate all the NOT fucked up data, and so it can't be reused on a new smeet.
GIR: GIR Is Zim's useless robot slave. When an invader is assigned a planet to conquer, they are given a SIR unit (SIR standing for Standard Issue Information Retrieval) to assist them. GIR was constructed by the Tallest on the spot when they didn't feel like giving Zim an actually GOOD SIR unit. GIR consists of trashed SIR parts, his "brain" consists of lint, a paperclip, two coins, a screw and a gumball. When asked by Zim what the 'G' stands for, GIR admits that he doesn't know. Zim, believing the Tallest's story that GIR is actually an advanced special SIR model, takes the robot to Earth. GIR then proceeds to be completely and utterly useless; breaking out into song at random, making waffles, rolling in filth, shrieking, watching TV, befriending pigs, destroying equipment, all kinds of horrible shit.
He is, however, capable of brief flashes of clarity, known as "duty mode", in which he actually comprehends things and follows orders. GIR being locked in this duty mode for extended periods is actually not a good thing for Zim. At all. The one time Zim succeeded in repairing GIR resulted in GIR realizing that Zim is a complete fuck up and danger to his own mission, and thus tried to destroy his Irken master. For Zim's own safety, he has no choice but to keep the robot in blithering idiot mode.
Though often enraged with GIR, Zim has been shown to actually not hate the little bastard, commenting at one point on how he was concerned for GIR's safety when the alien was trapped inside a nightmare world inside of Dib's enormous head (it makes sense just don't question it).
DIB: The enormous headed Dib is a kid in Zim's skool class (school is spelled skool in this dumbass show SO WHATEVER), and also happens to be a paranormal investigator that knows Zim is an alien. He could actually be considered the main protagonist since Zim is pretty much the bad guy of the series. But whatever.
From Zim's first day in Skool, Dib has sworn that he's going to stop Zim's plans for world conquest and reveal his secret to the world, but he has yet to get anyone to take him seriously on the matter. Despite everyone thinking he's completely insane, he has managed to stop Zim's evil plans, and even plant bugs in Zim's base to monitor his HORRIBLE PROGRESS. Because of this, Zim sees him as a rival and often tries to get rid of him. He fails every time, of course, but it's a hobby. In a canceled episode it would have been revealed that Dib's meddling plays a major role in Zim's motivation. Dib would have decided to give up pursuing Zim, which caused Zim to stop giving a fuck about taking the planet over.
Dib has a younger, video game obsessed, terrifying demon sister named Gaz that also knows that Zim is an alien, but she doesn't give a fuck.
OPERATION IMPENDING DOOM: The cleverly named plan for complete Irken galactic conquest, devised by the Almighty Tallest and/or the control brains. BECAUSE WHY NOT? Before the first Operation Impending Doom even officially began, Zim went on a rampage in a giant, horrible robot battle mech on the Irken home world, believing he was already on an alien planet for some stupid reason. He managed to kill all of the other invaders and almost managed to wipe out the entire Irken race in the process. Needless to say, Operation Impending Doom I was abandoned for a time. Outraged by Zim's ZIMNESS, The Tallest had Zim's PAK re-encoded from Invader Class to Food Service Drone, and the Tallest banished him to the planet Foodcourtia, where he was to spend the remainder of his life serving in a fast food restaurant.
While on Foodcourtia, Zim eventually heard about Operation Impending Doom II, and "quit" being banished. He escaped Foodcourtia and made it back in time for the Great Assigning, a ceremony where Invaders are assigned a planet to conquer. The Tallest assigned him to an unknown planet (DA ERF) in an effort to get rid of him, placing as far away from the actual Operation Impending Doom II as possible. Zim, being a moron, believed them and off he went.
END KEYWORDS actually the keywords covered most of the history oh well.
Zim's entire life is a hideous montage of death and destruction. From the very day he was "born" he's caused black outs, explosions, horrible deaths, and all around chaos for the Irken Empire. He caused two devastating black outs on the Irken home-world while still a smeet, is directly responsible for the deaths of two previous Almighty Tallests (he created an infinite energy absorbing monster that turned into a space Cthulhu aaand it ate them ANYWAY), and managed to destroy every other Invader during Operation Impending Doom I. In an effort to be rid of the horrible ZIM, he was banished to a fast food planet, which he later "quit" after hearing about Operation Impending Doom II. Simply wishing to be rid of Zim once and for all, the Tallest sent him on a "secret mission" to a previously unheard of planet, which just so happened to be Earth. Zim set up a base on Earth, disguised himself as a human, and decided to infiltrate human society by attending a local elementary school. It was here he met his rival DIB, who managed to foil pretty much all of Zim's world domination plans one way or another from that point on.
While clearly still plotting to take over the world, Zim has actually saved it on more occasions than he's doomed it, usually with the reasoning that it's his planet to destroy and nobody gets to destroy it but HIM. He's saved it from being thrown into a sun, hollowed out and filled with snacks, from a giant hamster, all sorts of shit. When he does come up with amazing plans for world conquest, they're either stopped by Dib, ruined by GIR, or brought to a grinding halt by his own stupidity and inattention. Despite his shortcomings (of which there are many), Zim remains convinced that he is AMAZING and unstoppable, and goes to great lengths to please the Tallest, completely unaware that they just want him to explode somewhere and never bother them again.
Reincarnated History: SURE. Ray Zimmerman was born in 1987 to a perfectly normal human Earth family. He has two perfectly normal human little brothers. His father was the primary homemaker, and occasionally ran an auto mechanic business on the side out of the garage. Ray's mother served in the U.S. Air Force. Military service was something of a tradition on both sides of the family. He had several aunts and uncles who served in various branches, as well as grandparents and great-grandparents. It was an unspoken expectation that Ray and his brothers would join the service when they were old enough, assuming they were physically able.
As is standard for military families, the Zimmermans moved every few years. Ray found it difficult to keep in contact with friends while he was young. Through elementary and middle school he was a bit on the anti-social side, never making more than a few friends at a time. It was something he just accepted, even at an early age, and never put too much effort into. In a way he almost preferred being overlooked.
His mother retired from active duty at the rank of Major while Ray was in high school, and his father opened up a legit mechanic shop in town. Ray had managed to make a few friends by this point, very few, but he'd let himself develop close relationships with them since he figured his family wouldn't be packing up and moving across the country anymore. Despite his slightly more outgoing nature, he was still usually just the creepy kid sitting alone in the back of the class and ignoring everything. People were a pain in the ass anyway. The fact that he'd barely grown past five feet tall made him a target for dick head jocks every now and then, especially in gym classes, and he developed a talent for bullshitting his way out of shitty situations. He became so good at bullshitting that he actually befriended a few of the asshole jocks and used them to fend off OTHER asshole jocks. Manipulating people is fun.
Ray developed a fondness for old cars and motorcycles thanks to his dad's automotive garage and worked for him part time. He would spend hours in the garage most nights tinkering with and refurbishing junk vehicles he'd picked up rather than socializing with actual people because who needs that shit. He'd also started playing guitar, but found himself lacking enough fucks to give to to keep practicing regularly. He was all about building. It became almost an obsession. Despite being very easily distracted by his hobbies, Ray managed to keep his grades decent, and even joined the JROTC at his high school. Following family tradition, Ray enlisted in the Army at the age of 18, almost as soon as he'd graduated.
Basic training went as to be expected, and Ray went through additional mechanic type training while in the Army. After training, he was deployed to the middle east, where he worked as an automotive and heavy equipment mechanic for his unit. He found it easy to get along with his fellow soldiers, likely due to his military upbringing, but mostly he just found ways to manipulate them the way he had his asshole jock buddies back home. To be fair, it wasn't completely intentional. Either way he'd lucked out, and the unit he'd been assigned to was mostly full of decent, trustworthy people.
Though trained for combat situations, he'd participated in very few actual battles. He was the mechanic, after all. And he was small. Very small. He was a tiny thing, and the soldiers he'd befriended tended to be a little on the protective side when it came to him. Mostly because he fixed all the things and was nice to them. ANYWAY. A month shy of his unit being recalled to the states, their base camp was attacked. Ray, who had been outside working on a vehicle, was one of the first injured. He'd taken a few bullets to his legs, one hit him square in his left knee. He and a few other soldiers that had been injured had been moved to safety, and it wasn't long until he'd gone unconscious from blood loss. The next thing he remembered was waking up in a hospital back in the states and learning that a good chunk of his unit hadn't survived the attack. He blamed himself for not reacting fast enough to be of any help, but mostly kept it to himself. He'd require a few surgeries to fix the damage to his knee, and attended a few physical therapy sessions. Those didn't last long, he kind of just stopped going one day because he's overly determined to deal with his own problems by himself. He still wears a brace from time to time and usually just tries to ignore the pain his knee still gives him, even though he has a prescription for a strong pain killer.
In short, his experiences in the military left him with a bum knee, insomnia, annoying but manageable survivor's guilt (and a bit of an anger management problem as a result), a fondness for fuckwords, and a bad smoking habit. Actually he picked up the smoking habit after returning state side, but it still counts.
After recovering, Ray had this unexplainable urge to distance himself from the people he knew. It was likely due to the guilt he still carried from his time overseas. Despite his family's protests, he moved to another town. That town just happened to be Locke City. Hey guys what's up. He moved into a dinky ass apartment with his cat Cookie Monster (shut up his baby brother named it), and despite the fact he was kind of receiving disability money from the government thanks to his injuries, he found that he hated sitting around his apartment doing nothing all day. He applied for a few jobs and eventually started working at Generic Fast Food Burger Joint (ok it was McDonald's or something)for a few months. He was fired after a spectacular argument with an exceptionally douchy manager, bummed around his apartment for a couple weeks, and was eventually hired on as an assistant manager for a cozy little coffee shop (where he developed an addiction to espresso but shhhhh).
All in all he's perfectly satisfied with his current low stress job and doesn't need anyone's weird shenanigans fucking this up for him. But where's the fun in that, right?
First Echo: While employed at his horrible fast food job, Ray was having a particularly bad day. Customers were being assholes, he needed a smoke break, and his knee was giving him hell. He was having nobody's bullshit, and went off on his asshole manager. The two argued for a while, quite loudly. Like literally screaming in each others faces. What they were actually arguing about is anyone's guess. Actually it's almost exactly like 9:04 to 9:20ish of this video. Ray was hit with the creepiest sense of déjà vu, not to mention the mysterious ~string of numbers~, and it distracted him to the point of almost not realizing that his asshole manager was waving a pink slip in his face. WHOOPS.
The ~mental echo~ memory thingy Ray received from this is...actually kind of useless. It's literally just the useless knowledge that there's a place out there called Shloogorgh's, which happens to be the fast food place Zim was banished to on Foodcourtia.
Preincarnation Personality: -ONCE AGAIN this section is mostly c/p'd from a previous Zim app. Let me know if you need more or something and I can edit it!-
To quote the wiki, Zim possesses "megalomaniacal, sadistic, emotionally unstable, sociopathic, paranoid, and narcissistic personality traits". Zim thinks he's pretty much the best invader ever, even though everything he touches turns to shit (or explodes). He's run horrible tests on humans and other creatures with no regard to their safety or well being, becomes enraged at the drop of a hat, is often in a screaming panic and insists everyone is lying to him at one point or another. He has an ego the size of Jupiter that is actually probably closer to a severe inferiority complex if you take irken society standards into consideration. He straight up refuses to see anything negative about himself, and constantly goes out of his way to insist that he is IN FACT a walking death machine. He's either completely in denial about the fact that he's basically useless, or he's just too stupid to realize it. It's up for debate.
Despite all this, he actually is quite brilliant given the fact that he completed Elite training and originally had been promoted to Invader status at one point. Maybe he just tests well, or maybe it's just because he's really good at destroying things (with the exception of Earth, of course). He probably would be a successful Invader if he didn't become hyper-focused on little things that don't really matter, such as attending "Skool" regularly or running insane tests on chickens. Dib has also proven to be an enormous distraction from Zim's over all mission, as well as motivation to keep trying. On more than one occasion, Zim has made horrible, elaborate plans just to destroy his large headed nemesis. Zim has failed every time of course, but it's a testament to his incredible persistence. Y'know, when it comes to pursuing things that don't matter.
He's been shown to have a tiny sliver of a soft side, but it was only in relation to a memory he had about being hatched from his "incubation capsule" by a robot arm as a smeet. His first words were "I love you, cold, unfeeling robot arm". The arm didn't care. He also has a bit of a soft spot for GIR. He promised to give the robot the moon once he took over Earth. He's also expressed concern for the little robot's safety, even though it's a robot.
Any differences:
- Unlike his preincarnation, Ray wasn't sent to Earth to conquer it. Thus, he never developed an irrational hatred for mankind and is actually pretty friendly toward people. Comparatively speaking, anyway. He can still be a loud, snarky asshole to strangers and especially toward people he doesn't like, but unlike his preincarnation life thingy where exactly ZERO people liked him, he's actually capable of making and keeping friends. He can care about people. Zim couldn't. Or chose not to. Either way.
- Deep down in his little squeedlyspooch, Zim craved recognition from his superiors more than anything. While still possessing a pretty healthy competitive streak, Ray isn't out to try to prove himself to anyone. At least not anymore. As far as he cares, he's already done his part and is perfectly content with taking it easy.
- Ray is significantly less useless than Zim. He has common sense, which Zim was sorely lacking. He's also extremely laid back compared to Zim and just calmer in general. He's more likely to analyze a problem in depth and try to solve it rather than scream and shoot lasers at it. That isn't to say Ray can't be a bit trigger happy depending on the situation, especially after his unpleasant experiences with the military, but he's definitely more in control of his reactions.
- Ray GIVES A SHIT about the consequences of his actions/inactions, even if it's something he couldn't help or change. Hence the whole feeling bad about being one of the only survivors of his unit thing. Zim, on the other hand, is directly responsible for the deaths of KIND OF A LOT OF IRKENS and couldn't give any less of a flying fuck. Oops oh well right.
Abilities: -Actually I'm kind of recycling a lot of that old app aren't I.-
Despite his COMPLETE ineptitude and idiocy, Zim is somehow brilliant enough to create all manner of horrible weapons or machines. He built a "space-time object transfer device" at one point and it totally worked (even if he kind of ruined the time stream by tossing rubber piggies into it). The fact that he can create all this crazy AMAZING shit is offset by the fact that he's a complete and total moron, and thus said creations are often underutilized. He's capable of piloting different space craft, from his Voot Cruiser to space taxis, but most of the time he's pretty horrible at it. Zim is also equipped with a standard issue Irken PAK, which houses a set of mechanical spider legs, lasers, communicators, and whatever else he feels like storing inside of it. The PAK also acts as a sort of life support system and is pretty much his brain. Irkens have developed such a dependance on their PAKS that being forcefully separated from it for ten minutes results in HORRIBLE DEATH. Or maybe even not forcefully, it's never officially stated from what I've been able to find. Either way, dead after ten minutes of PAKlessness. It's also assumed that irkens don't require sleep, likely also thanks to the PAK acting as a sort of battery or something.
Roleplay Sample - Third Person: (recycled from a Mostly Harmless app because I amthe champion a lazy asshole. Also this is canon Zim so he's a horrible, screamy little asshole.)
It had started the same way that any other filthy day on the filthy planet Earth started. Zim had been conducting a series of difficult and ultimately pointless tests on meaningless Earth substances in the 'kitchen', such as testing oatmeal and the effects it had on his delicate, superior Irken guts. His miserable, stupid assistant robot GIR was causing a needless ruckus in the 'living room' area, carrying on about whatever pointless human program it was filling it's head with. It was just like any other pointless Earth day, and it was horrible.
Horrible, that is, until Zim suddenly found himself in a very large, very alien place, practically in the blink of an eye. When he realized he was without his disguise in this very crowded area, he nearly panicked, but after a quick look around he realized that it wasn't just disgusting humans surrounding him. There were all kinds of hideous alien freaks here. It only took him a few seconds to gather his wits, but by the time he'd regained his superior composure, there was a very large creature standing over him, practically dropping a mountain of paperwork right on top of the tiny (YET OH SO MIGHTY) Irken Invader. He was quickly ushered over to a desk of some sort, while sputtering "hey you, hey wait a minute, hey what's going on, I AM ZIIIIM, AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE BEING TREATED THIS WAY BY SOME FILTHY STINKING MUTANT!!" among other things on his way over. The disgusting creature said some things that were probably important, but Zim was far too busy trying to yell over the it that he didn't quite catch much that it said, something about "your planet" and "destroyed" and "sorry for the trouble here's a pen, I need you to sign here and here" and-
Wait.
"The Earth? DESTROYED!? But that was my job!" There was something very wrong here. The Tallest would hear of this outrage!
As soon as Zim finished filling out this mountain of paper work.
Roleplay Sample - Network: [TEXT of the cell phone sort]
So after a few months of being in complete denial that I am quite possibly at least a little bit insane, I decided to check out this... magical psychic hotline number network thingy. Or whatever it is. I've come to the conclusion that you are all straight up batshit, and that I probably shouldn't have bothered for the sake of my own mental well being.
But fuck it. Work's dead and I don't have anything better to do right now.
But no seriously are you real people or am I just texting my brand new imaginary friends or something. Maybe you are people. Maybe you're evil telemarketers, and telemarketer technology has advanced to the point of transmitting numbers directly into people's brains. Or no better yet, maybe it's an elaborate government spy tool or something. I don't THINK anyone drilled anything into my skull during basic, but it could happen. Maybe THE MAN is watching me text crazyness to myself RIGHT NOW through my own brain.
Dear Government, if this is you get the fuck out of my brain before I set you on fire.
(just in case this IS the government, i won't actually set you on fire I'M SORRY)
Any Questions? I didn't see any coffee shop on the city development page. Can I make one and call it something horrible like "Espresso Yourself" or something equally horrible and full of pun?
Name: Ryo
Are you over 15? yeah buddy
Contact: mummifiedsalarian @ plurk
IC Information:
Name: Preincarnation - ZIM / Reincarnation - Ray Zimmerman
Canon and medium: Invader Zim | CARTOON, YO
Age: Preincarnation - 159 (y'know in human years) / Reincarnation - 26
Preincarnation Species: Irken
Preincarnation Appearance:
It's a little pathetic. Especially his human disguise.
Any differences: Y'know just a few here and there.
Aside from the fact that he isn't a horrible green alien anymore, he now stands at a WHOPPING 5'2". Okay that's hardly WHOPPING but it's pretty significant compared to his previous form. He has a pale complexion and black hair that he likes to spike up like an asshole. In other words, he is a perfectly normal human worm-baby. He just gets mistaken for a 13 year old on a semi-regular basis because he's short has a total baby face.
Preincarnated History: -So I just HAPPEN to have a history section for a previous Zim app from another game so I'm just gonna c/p that sucker right here. Let me know if you want more/less/etc and I will gladly provide.-
A good portion of the history is taken from unfinished episodes. Nickelodeon apparently hates money and canceled the series before it was finished, and some of those episodes just so HAPPEN to have covered a lot of back story. I figure they count as canon since there were scripts released for them and all that good shit and they actually EXPLAIN stuff that previous episodes never covered so here we go.
It all started when Zim was hatched from his incubator as a smeet. The fuck is a smeet, you ask? Why, it's a baby irken! The fuck is an IRKEN? Well sit your selves down and prepare your eyes for some AMAZING KNOWLEDGE as I slap you with some HORRIBLE KEY TERMS that may or may not be grammatically pleasing to read.
IRKEN: These are horrible, buggy looking green aliens, the race Zim belongs to. Irkens hail from the planet Irk. They are best known for trying to conquer the entire universe with their AMAZING ARMADA and re-purposing planets to fit their own needs (such as fast food planets, parking structure planets, military training planets, etc). Irkens tend to be militaristic no matter what tasks they're assigned, be it fast food, janitorial service, invading planets for conquest, etc. Irkens don't fuck around.
Irken physiology is kind of stupid. In place of a BUNCH OF ORGANS, they have one SUPER ORGAN. This one organ is called a squeedlyspooch. It's neat. As stated
It's stated that irkens don't require sleep, likely due to the PAK, but they are capable of it I guess if they FEEL LIKE SLEEPING. Also most Earth food appears to make them violently ill (with the rare exception such as WAFFLES). No ACTUAL science went into creating their race so I dunno. ALSO Zim is allergic to water, but according to the creator it's not JUST the water that burns the fuck out of him, but all the horrible Earth pollutants in it.
While they do have males and females, Irkens don't reproduce through conventional means. For whatever reason they've taken to growing their young (known as smeets) in idk SMEET FACTORIES? Upon "birth", a smeet has a PAK drilled into it's spine, which more or less activates the smeet. It is then plugged in to a computer which fills the smeet with ALL IRKEN KNOWLEDGE, and the smeet is given a name. It then reports for duty pretty much immediately.
The Irken hierarchy system is based on height, with their leaders being the tallest current living Irkens, and are thus called the Almighty Tallest. There are currently two of those guys running shit. The Tallest report only to the Control Brains, which are brains. That control everything. The Tallest (cleverly named Red and Purple because hey lets name them after THEIR EYE COLORS) are responsible for orchestrating invasions and overseeing the armada in general. They also absolutely despise Zim, and sent him to Earth to get him out of the way. In fact pretty much the entire race hates Zim. Everything hates Zim. I hate Zim.
DEFECTIVE: Zim. More specifically, an Irken Defective is someone who has been fitted with a faulty PAK when they're "born". In Zim's case, it makes him a blithering idiot who still manages to be the most dangerous Irken in the entire Armada. But pretty much ONLY to other Irkens. Hence the banishment to Earth thing. A Defective can't be controlled or brainwashed by the Control Brains and are usually destroyed when discovered. Their PAK data is deleted so it can't contaminate all the NOT fucked up data, and so it can't be reused on a new smeet.
GIR: GIR Is Zim's useless robot slave. When an invader is assigned a planet to conquer, they are given a SIR unit (SIR standing for Standard Issue Information Retrieval) to assist them. GIR was constructed by the Tallest on the spot when they didn't feel like giving Zim an actually GOOD SIR unit. GIR consists of trashed SIR parts, his "brain" consists of lint, a paperclip, two coins, a screw and a gumball. When asked by Zim what the 'G' stands for, GIR admits that he doesn't know. Zim, believing the Tallest's story that GIR is actually an advanced special SIR model, takes the robot to Earth. GIR then proceeds to be completely and utterly useless; breaking out into song at random, making waffles, rolling in filth, shrieking, watching TV, befriending pigs, destroying equipment, all kinds of horrible shit.
He is, however, capable of brief flashes of clarity, known as "duty mode", in which he actually comprehends things and follows orders. GIR being locked in this duty mode for extended periods is actually not a good thing for Zim. At all. The one time Zim succeeded in repairing GIR resulted in GIR realizing that Zim is a complete fuck up and danger to his own mission, and thus tried to destroy his Irken master. For Zim's own safety, he has no choice but to keep the robot in blithering idiot mode.
Though often enraged with GIR, Zim has been shown to actually not hate the little bastard, commenting at one point on how he was concerned for GIR's safety when the alien was trapped inside a nightmare world inside of Dib's enormous head (it makes sense just don't question it).
DIB: The enormous headed Dib is a kid in Zim's skool class (school is spelled skool in this dumbass show SO WHATEVER), and also happens to be a paranormal investigator that knows Zim is an alien. He could actually be considered the main protagonist since Zim is pretty much the bad guy of the series. But whatever.
From Zim's first day in Skool, Dib has sworn that he's going to stop Zim's plans for world conquest and reveal his secret to the world, but he has yet to get anyone to take him seriously on the matter. Despite everyone thinking he's completely insane, he has managed to stop Zim's evil plans, and even plant bugs in Zim's base to monitor his HORRIBLE PROGRESS. Because of this, Zim sees him as a rival and often tries to get rid of him. He fails every time, of course, but it's a hobby. In a canceled episode it would have been revealed that Dib's meddling plays a major role in Zim's motivation. Dib would have decided to give up pursuing Zim, which caused Zim to stop giving a fuck about taking the planet over.
Dib has a younger, video game obsessed, terrifying demon sister named Gaz that also knows that Zim is an alien, but she doesn't give a fuck.
OPERATION IMPENDING DOOM: The cleverly named plan for complete Irken galactic conquest, devised by the Almighty Tallest and/or the control brains. BECAUSE WHY NOT? Before the first Operation Impending Doom even officially began, Zim went on a rampage in a giant, horrible robot battle mech on the Irken home world, believing he was already on an alien planet for some stupid reason. He managed to kill all of the other invaders and almost managed to wipe out the entire Irken race in the process. Needless to say, Operation Impending Doom I was abandoned for a time. Outraged by Zim's ZIMNESS, The Tallest had Zim's PAK re-encoded from Invader Class to Food Service Drone, and the Tallest banished him to the planet Foodcourtia, where he was to spend the remainder of his life serving in a fast food restaurant.
While on Foodcourtia, Zim eventually heard about Operation Impending Doom II, and "quit" being banished. He escaped Foodcourtia and made it back in time for the Great Assigning, a ceremony where Invaders are assigned a planet to conquer. The Tallest assigned him to an unknown planet (DA ERF) in an effort to get rid of him, placing as far away from the actual Operation Impending Doom II as possible. Zim, being a moron, believed them and off he went.
END KEYWORDS actually the keywords covered most of the history oh well.
Zim's entire life is a hideous montage of death and destruction. From the very day he was "born" he's caused black outs, explosions, horrible deaths, and all around chaos for the Irken Empire. He caused two devastating black outs on the Irken home-world while still a smeet, is directly responsible for the deaths of two previous Almighty Tallests (he created an infinite energy absorbing monster that turned into a space Cthulhu aaand it ate them ANYWAY), and managed to destroy every other Invader during Operation Impending Doom I. In an effort to be rid of the horrible ZIM, he was banished to a fast food planet, which he later "quit" after hearing about Operation Impending Doom II. Simply wishing to be rid of Zim once and for all, the Tallest sent him on a "secret mission" to a previously unheard of planet, which just so happened to be Earth. Zim set up a base on Earth, disguised himself as a human, and decided to infiltrate human society by attending a local elementary school. It was here he met his rival DIB, who managed to foil pretty much all of Zim's world domination plans one way or another from that point on.
While clearly still plotting to take over the world, Zim has actually saved it on more occasions than he's doomed it, usually with the reasoning that it's his planet to destroy and nobody gets to destroy it but HIM. He's saved it from being thrown into a sun, hollowed out and filled with snacks, from a giant hamster, all sorts of shit. When he does come up with amazing plans for world conquest, they're either stopped by Dib, ruined by GIR, or brought to a grinding halt by his own stupidity and inattention. Despite his shortcomings (of which there are many), Zim remains convinced that he is AMAZING and unstoppable, and goes to great lengths to please the Tallest, completely unaware that they just want him to explode somewhere and never bother them again.
Reincarnated History: SURE. Ray Zimmerman was born in 1987 to a perfectly normal human Earth family. He has two perfectly normal human little brothers. His father was the primary homemaker, and occasionally ran an auto mechanic business on the side out of the garage. Ray's mother served in the U.S. Air Force. Military service was something of a tradition on both sides of the family. He had several aunts and uncles who served in various branches, as well as grandparents and great-grandparents. It was an unspoken expectation that Ray and his brothers would join the service when they were old enough, assuming they were physically able.
As is standard for military families, the Zimmermans moved every few years. Ray found it difficult to keep in contact with friends while he was young. Through elementary and middle school he was a bit on the anti-social side, never making more than a few friends at a time. It was something he just accepted, even at an early age, and never put too much effort into. In a way he almost preferred being overlooked.
His mother retired from active duty at the rank of Major while Ray was in high school, and his father opened up a legit mechanic shop in town. Ray had managed to make a few friends by this point, very few, but he'd let himself develop close relationships with them since he figured his family wouldn't be packing up and moving across the country anymore. Despite his slightly more outgoing nature, he was still usually just the creepy kid sitting alone in the back of the class and ignoring everything. People were a pain in the ass anyway. The fact that he'd barely grown past five feet tall made him a target for dick head jocks every now and then, especially in gym classes, and he developed a talent for bullshitting his way out of shitty situations. He became so good at bullshitting that he actually befriended a few of the asshole jocks and used them to fend off OTHER asshole jocks. Manipulating people is fun.
Ray developed a fondness for old cars and motorcycles thanks to his dad's automotive garage and worked for him part time. He would spend hours in the garage most nights tinkering with and refurbishing junk vehicles he'd picked up rather than socializing with actual people because who needs that shit. He'd also started playing guitar, but found himself lacking enough fucks to give to to keep practicing regularly. He was all about building. It became almost an obsession. Despite being very easily distracted by his hobbies, Ray managed to keep his grades decent, and even joined the JROTC at his high school. Following family tradition, Ray enlisted in the Army at the age of 18, almost as soon as he'd graduated.
Basic training went as to be expected, and Ray went through additional mechanic type training while in the Army. After training, he was deployed to the middle east, where he worked as an automotive and heavy equipment mechanic for his unit. He found it easy to get along with his fellow soldiers, likely due to his military upbringing, but mostly he just found ways to manipulate them the way he had his asshole jock buddies back home. To be fair, it wasn't completely intentional. Either way he'd lucked out, and the unit he'd been assigned to was mostly full of decent, trustworthy people.
Though trained for combat situations, he'd participated in very few actual battles. He was the mechanic, after all. And he was small. Very small. He was a tiny thing, and the soldiers he'd befriended tended to be a little on the protective side when it came to him. Mostly because he fixed all the things and was nice to them. ANYWAY. A month shy of his unit being recalled to the states, their base camp was attacked. Ray, who had been outside working on a vehicle, was one of the first injured. He'd taken a few bullets to his legs, one hit him square in his left knee. He and a few other soldiers that had been injured had been moved to safety, and it wasn't long until he'd gone unconscious from blood loss. The next thing he remembered was waking up in a hospital back in the states and learning that a good chunk of his unit hadn't survived the attack. He blamed himself for not reacting fast enough to be of any help, but mostly kept it to himself. He'd require a few surgeries to fix the damage to his knee, and attended a few physical therapy sessions. Those didn't last long, he kind of just stopped going one day because he's overly determined to deal with his own problems by himself. He still wears a brace from time to time and usually just tries to ignore the pain his knee still gives him, even though he has a prescription for a strong pain killer.
In short, his experiences in the military left him with a bum knee, insomnia, annoying but manageable survivor's guilt (and a bit of an anger management problem as a result), a fondness for fuckwords, and a bad smoking habit. Actually he picked up the smoking habit after returning state side, but it still counts.
After recovering, Ray had this unexplainable urge to distance himself from the people he knew. It was likely due to the guilt he still carried from his time overseas. Despite his family's protests, he moved to another town. That town just happened to be Locke City. Hey guys what's up. He moved into a dinky ass apartment with his cat Cookie Monster (shut up his baby brother named it), and despite the fact he was kind of receiving disability money from the government thanks to his injuries, he found that he hated sitting around his apartment doing nothing all day. He applied for a few jobs and eventually started working at Generic Fast Food Burger Joint (ok it was McDonald's or something)for a few months. He was fired after a spectacular argument with an exceptionally douchy manager, bummed around his apartment for a couple weeks, and was eventually hired on as an assistant manager for a cozy little coffee shop (where he developed an addiction to espresso but shhhhh).
All in all he's perfectly satisfied with his current low stress job and doesn't need anyone's weird shenanigans fucking this up for him. But where's the fun in that, right?
First Echo: While employed at his horrible fast food job, Ray was having a particularly bad day. Customers were being assholes, he needed a smoke break, and his knee was giving him hell. He was having nobody's bullshit, and went off on his asshole manager. The two argued for a while, quite loudly. Like literally screaming in each others faces. What they were actually arguing about is anyone's guess. Actually it's almost exactly like 9:04 to 9:20ish of this video. Ray was hit with the creepiest sense of déjà vu, not to mention the mysterious ~string of numbers~, and it distracted him to the point of almost not realizing that his asshole manager was waving a pink slip in his face. WHOOPS.
The ~mental echo~ memory thingy Ray received from this is...actually kind of useless. It's literally just the useless knowledge that there's a place out there called Shloogorgh's, which happens to be the fast food place Zim was banished to on Foodcourtia.
Preincarnation Personality: -ONCE AGAIN this section is mostly c/p'd from a previous Zim app. Let me know if you need more or something and I can edit it!-
To quote the wiki, Zim possesses "megalomaniacal, sadistic, emotionally unstable, sociopathic, paranoid, and narcissistic personality traits". Zim thinks he's pretty much the best invader ever, even though everything he touches turns to shit (or explodes). He's run horrible tests on humans and other creatures with no regard to their safety or well being, becomes enraged at the drop of a hat, is often in a screaming panic and insists everyone is lying to him at one point or another. He has an ego the size of Jupiter that is actually probably closer to a severe inferiority complex if you take irken society standards into consideration. He straight up refuses to see anything negative about himself, and constantly goes out of his way to insist that he is IN FACT a walking death machine. He's either completely in denial about the fact that he's basically useless, or he's just too stupid to realize it. It's up for debate.
Despite all this, he actually is quite brilliant given the fact that he completed Elite training and originally had been promoted to Invader status at one point. Maybe he just tests well, or maybe it's just because he's really good at destroying things (with the exception of Earth, of course). He probably would be a successful Invader if he didn't become hyper-focused on little things that don't really matter, such as attending "Skool" regularly or running insane tests on chickens. Dib has also proven to be an enormous distraction from Zim's over all mission, as well as motivation to keep trying. On more than one occasion, Zim has made horrible, elaborate plans just to destroy his large headed nemesis. Zim has failed every time of course, but it's a testament to his incredible persistence. Y'know, when it comes to pursuing things that don't matter.
He's been shown to have a tiny sliver of a soft side, but it was only in relation to a memory he had about being hatched from his "incubation capsule" by a robot arm as a smeet. His first words were "I love you, cold, unfeeling robot arm". The arm didn't care. He also has a bit of a soft spot for GIR. He promised to give the robot the moon once he took over Earth. He's also expressed concern for the little robot's safety, even though it's a robot.
Any differences:
- Unlike his preincarnation, Ray wasn't sent to Earth to conquer it. Thus, he never developed an irrational hatred for mankind and is actually pretty friendly toward people. Comparatively speaking, anyway. He can still be a loud, snarky asshole to strangers and especially toward people he doesn't like, but unlike his preincarnation life thingy where exactly ZERO people liked him, he's actually capable of making and keeping friends. He can care about people. Zim couldn't. Or chose not to. Either way.
- Deep down in his little squeedlyspooch, Zim craved recognition from his superiors more than anything. While still possessing a pretty healthy competitive streak, Ray isn't out to try to prove himself to anyone. At least not anymore. As far as he cares, he's already done his part and is perfectly content with taking it easy.
- Ray is significantly less useless than Zim. He has common sense, which Zim was sorely lacking. He's also extremely laid back compared to Zim and just calmer in general. He's more likely to analyze a problem in depth and try to solve it rather than scream and shoot lasers at it. That isn't to say Ray can't be a bit trigger happy depending on the situation, especially after his unpleasant experiences with the military, but he's definitely more in control of his reactions.
- Ray GIVES A SHIT about the consequences of his actions/inactions, even if it's something he couldn't help or change. Hence the whole feeling bad about being one of the only survivors of his unit thing. Zim, on the other hand, is directly responsible for the deaths of KIND OF A LOT OF IRKENS and couldn't give any less of a flying fuck. Oops oh well right.
Abilities: -Actually I'm kind of recycling a lot of that old app aren't I.-
Despite his COMPLETE ineptitude and idiocy, Zim is somehow brilliant enough to create all manner of horrible weapons or machines. He built a "space-time object transfer device" at one point and it totally worked (even if he kind of ruined the time stream by tossing rubber piggies into it). The fact that he can create all this crazy AMAZING shit is offset by the fact that he's a complete and total moron, and thus said creations are often underutilized. He's capable of piloting different space craft, from his Voot Cruiser to space taxis, but most of the time he's pretty horrible at it. Zim is also equipped with a standard issue Irken PAK, which houses a set of mechanical spider legs, lasers, communicators, and whatever else he feels like storing inside of it. The PAK also acts as a sort of life support system and is pretty much his brain. Irkens have developed such a dependance on their PAKS that being forcefully separated from it for ten minutes results in HORRIBLE DEATH. Or maybe even not forcefully, it's never officially stated from what I've been able to find. Either way, dead after ten minutes of PAKlessness. It's also assumed that irkens don't require sleep, likely also thanks to the PAK acting as a sort of battery or something.
Roleplay Sample - Third Person: (recycled from a Mostly Harmless app because I am
It had started the same way that any other filthy day on the filthy planet Earth started. Zim had been conducting a series of difficult and ultimately pointless tests on meaningless Earth substances in the 'kitchen', such as testing oatmeal and the effects it had on his delicate, superior Irken guts. His miserable, stupid assistant robot GIR was causing a needless ruckus in the 'living room' area, carrying on about whatever pointless human program it was filling it's head with. It was just like any other pointless Earth day, and it was horrible.
Horrible, that is, until Zim suddenly found himself in a very large, very alien place, practically in the blink of an eye. When he realized he was without his disguise in this very crowded area, he nearly panicked, but after a quick look around he realized that it wasn't just disgusting humans surrounding him. There were all kinds of hideous alien freaks here. It only took him a few seconds to gather his wits, but by the time he'd regained his superior composure, there was a very large creature standing over him, practically dropping a mountain of paperwork right on top of the tiny (YET OH SO MIGHTY) Irken Invader. He was quickly ushered over to a desk of some sort, while sputtering "hey you, hey wait a minute, hey what's going on, I AM ZIIIIM, AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE BEING TREATED THIS WAY BY SOME FILTHY STINKING MUTANT!!" among other things on his way over. The disgusting creature said some things that were probably important, but Zim was far too busy trying to yell over the it that he didn't quite catch much that it said, something about "your planet" and "destroyed" and "sorry for the trouble here's a pen, I need you to sign here and here" and-
Wait.
"The Earth? DESTROYED!? But that was my job!" There was something very wrong here. The Tallest would hear of this outrage!
As soon as Zim finished filling out this mountain of paper work.
Roleplay Sample - Network: [TEXT of the cell phone sort]
So after a few months of being in complete denial that I am quite possibly at least a little bit insane, I decided to check out this... magical psychic hotline number network thingy. Or whatever it is. I've come to the conclusion that you are all straight up batshit, and that I probably shouldn't have bothered for the sake of my own mental well being.
But fuck it. Work's dead and I don't have anything better to do right now.
But no seriously are you real people or am I just texting my brand new imaginary friends or something. Maybe you are people. Maybe you're evil telemarketers, and telemarketer technology has advanced to the point of transmitting numbers directly into people's brains. Or no better yet, maybe it's an elaborate government spy tool or something. I don't THINK anyone drilled anything into my skull during basic, but it could happen. Maybe THE MAN is watching me text crazyness to myself RIGHT NOW through my own brain.
Dear Government, if this is you get the fuck out of my brain before I set you on fire.
(just in case this IS the government, i won't actually set you on fire I'M SORRY)
Any Questions? I didn't see any coffee shop on the city development page. Can I make one and call it something horrible like "Espresso Yourself" or something equally horrible and full of pun?