[IC CONTACT]

[synonymouswithdookie]

You've reached Ray's phone. Good for you. Clearly I haven't answered said phone, so you're just going to have to leave a message. Suck it up, princess.

Comments

text;

[synonymouswithdookie]

but i wanna see yooooooooooooooooou

text;

[sassymaru]

you will

when you wake up

text;

[synonymouswithdookie]

fiiiiiiiine

text;

[sassymaru]

good

driving now be there soon

text;

[synonymouswithdookie]

>font face=courier>OK SEE U

[sassymaru]

[BE RIGHT THERE O INVALID BOYFRIEND.]

[synonymouswithdookie]

[he's so invalid that I fucked up my HTML FUCK.

door's unlocked, Ray's half asleep on the couch with a cat sleeping on him, life's good]

[sassymaru]

[shh no it's okay.]

[He's going to let himself in quietly. And sit on the other end of the couch with him.]

[Hello cat.]

[synonymouswithdookie]

[kitty is excited YAY NEW PERSON. He crushes Ray's nuts on his way over to investigate Yuji. Bad kitty. WELL Ray's fully awake now]

Aaugggg God dammit Cookie Monster!

[Ffff ffff no poor nuts]

[sassymaru]

[WHOOPS THAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.]

Sorry! It... I think that was my fault.

[synonymouswithdookie]

No. Don't worry about it. It's a cat thing. It's like they know exactly where to step to cause the most pain. Always genitals. Always.

[Ray shoos the dumbass cat away and just flops all over Yuji like some kind of demented lap dog]

[sassymaru]

And you're shooing it onto me. How thoughtful.

[Nah he's fine with this. It's kind of cute. In a... not-really-a-dog way.]

Go back to sleep, if you need to.

[synonymouswithdookie]

[gee what's the matter you got a problem with dogs can't imagine why]

I might. But like, I'm awake now. Mostly.

[sassymaru]

[We're not going to talk about dogs okay.]

Well... rest up, either way. I'll look after you in the meantime.

[synonymouswithdookie]

[lets get a puppy, we'll name it after you.

You Jr.]

Trust me, all I'm good for anymore is resting.

[sassymaru]

[That's a terrible idea.]

Good. That's all you need to be worrying about right now anyway.

[synonymouswithdookie]

[no it's amazing]

No, I have a shitload to worry about. I'm a worrier. It's what I do. I've been trying not to think about things. Like, one of my employees came at me all 'hey, wanna open a new coffee shop I randomly have a bajillion dollars' and I was like 'Jesus Christ dude'. So apparently I'm going to co-own a joint now? but all I can think about is what happened to the last place and now I'm rambling about weird bullshit that probably doesn't make sense outside of my own weird brain.

[sassymaru]

He... how did he get that sort of money?

[What the hell kind of friends do you have, baby.]

No, you're welcome to ramble. I said I would listen, didn't I?

[synonymouswithdookie]

Something about an echo and a fucking gold ingot or something? I was kind of pumped up on pain killers at the time.

[Well it was half true anyway. Plus echos explain everything these days right? RIGHT?]

Yeah, I guess you did.

[you're also being a pillow yuji you are the best multitasker]

[sassymaru]

A gold ingot...? How on Earth is he going to clear that?

[Because sudden surplus of cash is going to perk someone's interest. Probably IRS.]

So... if you want to keep going... you're welcome to.

[That's fine, he'll play with Ray's hair then.]

[synonymouswithdookie]

Uh. Magic?

[oooooor some kind of fraud i mean they're both the same thing]

Oh I plan to. Unless the cat steps on my nuts again or something.

[sassymaru]

Magic. Right. Just... be careful, please.

[He worries about you asshole.]

Good. Do that. Then rest.

[synonymouswithdookie]

I'm always careful. I'm super careful.

I mean I can't back that up, but I like to pretend it's true.

[sassymaru]

I'll pretend with you, for the duration of this conversation.

[aka: humoring you.]

[synonymouswithdookie]

Hell yes, imagination.

Oh, and remind me to call my mom back. She texted me like nine million times while I was in the hospital.