[IC CONTACT]

[synonymouswithdookie]

You've reached Ray's phone. Good for you. Clearly I haven't answered said phone, so you're just going to have to leave a message. Suck it up, princess.

Comments

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[synonymouswithdookie]

>font face=courier>OK SEE U

[sassymaru]

[BE RIGHT THERE O INVALID BOYFRIEND.]

[synonymouswithdookie]

[he's so invalid that I fucked up my HTML FUCK.

door's unlocked, Ray's half asleep on the couch with a cat sleeping on him, life's good]

[sassymaru]

[shh no it's okay.]

[He's going to let himself in quietly. And sit on the other end of the couch with him.]

[Hello cat.]

[synonymouswithdookie]

[kitty is excited YAY NEW PERSON. He crushes Ray's nuts on his way over to investigate Yuji. Bad kitty. WELL Ray's fully awake now]

Aaugggg God dammit Cookie Monster!

[Ffff ffff no poor nuts]

[sassymaru]

[WHOOPS THAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.]

Sorry! It... I think that was my fault.

[synonymouswithdookie]

No. Don't worry about it. It's a cat thing. It's like they know exactly where to step to cause the most pain. Always genitals. Always.

[Ray shoos the dumbass cat away and just flops all over Yuji like some kind of demented lap dog]

[sassymaru]

And you're shooing it onto me. How thoughtful.

[Nah he's fine with this. It's kind of cute. In a... not-really-a-dog way.]

Go back to sleep, if you need to.

[synonymouswithdookie]

[gee what's the matter you got a problem with dogs can't imagine why]

I might. But like, I'm awake now. Mostly.

[sassymaru]

[We're not going to talk about dogs okay.]

Well... rest up, either way. I'll look after you in the meantime.

[synonymouswithdookie]

[lets get a puppy, we'll name it after you.

You Jr.]

Trust me, all I'm good for anymore is resting.

[sassymaru]

[That's a terrible idea.]

Good. That's all you need to be worrying about right now anyway.

[synonymouswithdookie]

[no it's amazing]

No, I have a shitload to worry about. I'm a worrier. It's what I do. I've been trying not to think about things. Like, one of my employees came at me all 'hey, wanna open a new coffee shop I randomly have a bajillion dollars' and I was like 'Jesus Christ dude'. So apparently I'm going to co-own a joint now? but all I can think about is what happened to the last place and now I'm rambling about weird bullshit that probably doesn't make sense outside of my own weird brain.

[sassymaru]

He... how did he get that sort of money?

[What the hell kind of friends do you have, baby.]

No, you're welcome to ramble. I said I would listen, didn't I?

[synonymouswithdookie]

Something about an echo and a fucking gold ingot or something? I was kind of pumped up on pain killers at the time.

[Well it was half true anyway. Plus echos explain everything these days right? RIGHT?]

Yeah, I guess you did.

[you're also being a pillow yuji you are the best multitasker]

[sassymaru]

A gold ingot...? How on Earth is he going to clear that?

[Because sudden surplus of cash is going to perk someone's interest. Probably IRS.]

So... if you want to keep going... you're welcome to.

[That's fine, he'll play with Ray's hair then.]

[synonymouswithdookie]

Uh. Magic?

[oooooor some kind of fraud i mean they're both the same thing]

Oh I plan to. Unless the cat steps on my nuts again or something.

[sassymaru]

Magic. Right. Just... be careful, please.

[He worries about you asshole.]

Good. Do that. Then rest.

[synonymouswithdookie]

I'm always careful. I'm super careful.

I mean I can't back that up, but I like to pretend it's true.

[sassymaru]

I'll pretend with you, for the duration of this conversation.

[aka: humoring you.]

[synonymouswithdookie]

Hell yes, imagination.

Oh, and remind me to call my mom back. She texted me like nine million times while I was in the hospital.

[sassymaru]

Of course. I will as soon as you're awake again.

[More hair pets are go.]

[synonymouswithdookie]

Mmmff.

[Ray WAS going to try to think up more things to bitch about but you know what hair pets are nice. just watch the antennae. or fuck with them Ray is beyond the point of caring.]

[sassymaru]

[No he'll avoid them.]

Just rest for now.